New Alex Ross Graphic Novel

I'm going to risk being called a geek (too late) but I've just found out that Alex Ross has finished a new comic series, Justice. The guy's one of the best comic artists around, if you've never read one of his books, check out Kingdom Come for a dose of loveliness.

AVP2

This first one was utter shite but at least this one looks a bit better http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0E5yIi96RLM

Virgin 2007

10 years after first going to V, a return visit was due. This time it was a little different, since I was going with Lucy and not a group of blokes. As it turns out, I was able to watch similar groups of blokes from my collapsible chair, and realise what a fucking annoying bunch of arses we must have been. Still, I guess if you want a nice quiet time, your first choice of venue wouldn't be a massive music festival.

Highlights of the festival for me were the Happy Mondays and Kasabian. Also seen were Kanye West (he of big white teeth), Kooks (wish we'd seen the Foo's instead), Babyshambles, Primal Scream, Fratellis and the Killers.

The camping wasn't too heinous, although the hour long walk from car to campsite with all our gear almost got the better of me ("Shall we just sell the bloody tickets"). The guy in the tent next to us snored ALL night, which almost led me to get out of my tent and set fire to his. But his screaming probably would have been louder and hence defeated the object I guess. Thanks to Alex and Laura for the loan of the tent, it was magic.

I'm not sure about those temporary urinals. It's a bit weird when you're standing opposite another man, facing each other and having a piss. Making eye contact whilst pissing is never good and I know I was making sure to wear an expression that couldn't be misinterpreted as "Nice cock". Also great is when your foot squelches into something as you stand in front of the urinal and you realise its not water ("Those aren't pillows!!").

Main bedroom - almost done

It's been a while since there was a DIY update - main bedroom decorated.

Boyes win big at Ascot

Boys in winning at gambling shocker! Our usual sorry performance at Ascot was raised hugely by a spectacular first race win by Mr Boyes (£900+ from a £10 bet) followed by some other tasty wins. It led to an afternoon of the cheapest champers, followed by the usual drunken stumblings around Reading. The Vet managed to shirk off our repeated attempts at corrupting his plans and headed off to the Isle of Wight for an early start sailing with Whitehouse (much respect). I should have realised a club called "The Reflex" was an 80's club - I think I lasted about 2 songs before slinking off (like a cat) to my bed - in order to re-energise myself for Eleanor's christening the next day.

Borderline

To 'celebrate' the fact that you won't be able to smoke bloody anywhere in the UK anymore, we went for a final booze up down at the Borderline. It went much as expected although turn ups for the books were Sam (I thought he was dealing dope in Colombia), Chris and Ben booking out early (pussies). A top night (they don't seem to change the playlist at all) although I did have to have a little hide where I had a word with myself to keep going (as opposed to slinking off like a cat). A cab back to Ealing is alot cheaper than a cab back to Maidenhead.

Sunday lunch

Niccy P and Emma popped over for Sunday lunch which was nice.

Chicago trip

Another jaunt to Chicago, this time for a meet with the big wigs. It was a chance to sit in and find out what my elders and betters talk about and it was much as expected. Went to see a Chicago Cubs game, the stadium was cool but the team were shit. It was just like a game of rounders with lots of stops and a song at the seventh innings - at which point they stop selling beer - bad show.

It was good to meet some folks who I'd I'd only emailed before (Panicos is a legend) and spend some quality time with some other folks - Stephen Kerr was on good form. Low light was travelling back with Dave who at the end of the overnight flight showed me the sleeping pills he used which were excellent - as evidenced by him sleeping like a log and me being left to watch shit films. Git. :)

Loud and stupid

As long as they explain where Optimus' trailer goes, I'll be happy.

Wot I been up to?

Marilyn & Doug were up last weekend, and we tripped out to Windsor Park, walked about and looked at trees, children falling off bicycles and posh people on horses.

Been having a bit of a cinema fest at the moment - so it must be the start of summer season. Went to see Sunshine - very good, not exactly original but for the budget it looked amazing. Spidey 3 was alright, although it did seem a bit packed with too many stories. Watching Heroes at the moment and its well wicked - one episode (the 5 years in the future one) was better than the whole of X3.

I love this trailer - totally bonkers anime stuff but so imaginative, I love this stuff. Paprika Other trailers for films that won't be as good as the trailers
- Fantastic Four 2
- Bourne Ultimatum
- War Inc

Also went to see 28 Weeks Later yesterday, which was excellent. The first 5 minutes were insane - way too tense and the bit with the helicopter in Regents Park was off the chart. I can't see the political allegories that are being drawn with the film, since the last time I checked, the insurgents weren't blood-vomiting lunatics who want to bite your face off. Not even Fox News portays them as such. There was a handy hint for any insurgents watching though, if they get themselves a Volvo estate they can outmanoeuvre an Apache gunship.

Well done the Hammers for escaping relegation - just a shame they had to cheat to do so.

As a postscript, a doctor told me the other day that my arse was "hairier than most" - I suppose its nice to get official confirmation of this.

Alex's 27th birthday

Met up with Alex and Laura and some of their mates at Digress before heading over to King's Cross to The Key, which is an actual dance club. The tunes were wicked and I could dance like a spazz amongst other spazz's, luckily Alex was dancing like a MASSIVE spaz, so that was quite fortunate, nice for someone else to take responsibility for a change. Lucy is currently drawing up a letter of complaint after being offered "pills of some kind". We made it until 3 and then packed up, the youngsters went off to their pit whilst Lucy and I got a nice £70 taxi home, which was tom-tom-tastic. Anyway, mid-life crisis put on hold for a few months more. Made me look forward to the Borderline bash in June.

Congrats to Bops and Chris for completing the marathon, although Chris did look like shit in the photo i saw. He stilled looked significantly better than what I would've looked like though.

Ever been this drunk?

Some people have too much time on their hands - and thank god for them

I loved Resident Evil 4 on the PS2 - it was awesome. The way this guy has sync'd up the headshots is magic.

Jamie's 30th bash

Up to Biggleswade for Jamie's 30th bash. Jamie and Rach laid on a fine spread as always and were great hosts. The food cooked up by the Israeli chef was smashing - Guy restricted himself to just the two heaped plates - and also perfected his sword-swallowing technique of eating Magnums - the most powerful ice cream in the world.

The breeders were there in force as well, which was great to see. All of them look remarkably well, although Armstrong looked more bewildered than usual.

Photos will shortly be available once Mr Earl pulls his finger out and posts them in his Picasa album - although he was shown how to do this by Scally so I'm not holding my breath. There's also some video footage of some muppets mincing about on the dancefloor - I'm only putting this here in the interests of fairness. There was also some worrying business with lip gloss which makes me wonder what Guy & Ginette get up to behind closed doors.

There was some top pinata action and Jamie's acceptance speech at 1am was legendary "It would be shit if you weren't here". Nice one Jamie. :)

For those of you who aren't aware, David Blaine is a time travelling demon. My car has now developed a new and exciting rattle - but I've checked the wheels and there's still 4 of them, so I can ignore it for a while longer.

Good luck to Bops and Chris for the marathon, although I hear Chris might have injured himself in Canada......

Easter weekend, which must mean DIY

As tradition demands, Easter weekend was spent travelling and decorating. First off to the Perry's to see the new and improved Bryan. To be honest it was a bit of a let down, he's still a lairy scouser. Luckily he won't be reading this, since it would be below him. He's already traded in his XBox 360 for a PS3, so perhaps him and Scally can share some tips, although the day when they can beat me at Tekken is still far away.

After that it was off to Alex & Laura's to join in the 'we've trashed our house, can someone please help' event of the weekend. It was quite a laugh with the "can-do" Chidley attitude fully on display. The Changing Rooms pace was all a bit much for Doug, who had to go outside and watch the boat race. Still, they've done a good job patching up the place after ripping out the air conditioning, so hopefully they'll be back to something habitable soon. Eleanor still has no teeth.

You could eat your dinner off it

We've finally bought a dining room table and chairs, so the garden furniture can actually now go back out into the garden, where it'll probably get nicked.

We got it from a seconds place out in the middle of nowhere called Get Furnished, which is pretty much just a barn with lots of furniture in it.

Boarding in Breckenridge

A top time was had in Breckenridge. It was great to see Bruce and Kathleen, haven't seen them in ages. They were on top form and way more energised than us, who were feeling the effects of altitude and jetlag. My guts were bunged up for at least 4 days at the beginning but a couple of Sennacott tablets soon sorted that out.

There wasn't much new snow, resulting in packed piste only action. This had a rather detrimental effect on Guy's coccyx, but I guessed if you smack anything down on a hard surface with 17st of wieght behind it, its gonna hurt. I hope this doesn't stop Guy from doing what he loves i.e. human cannonballing.

Day Watch Trailer

Smart trailer for the sequel to bonkers Russian vampire movie, Nightwatch, which is called Day Watch. The final part of the trilogy will feature Bill Oddie.

Floor down

If you like dirty green carpet you may not want to read the following. Mark at MPM Flooring has done another top job in the dining room and hallway. Sliding around in socks is a great way to pass time in the evening.

The green carpet was taken outside and ritually burned for crimes against humanity.

Parents over

Mum and Dad T came up to visit, which of course involved making Dad work for his supper. The wiring in the void room at the back of the house was ventured into, floorboards were raised and diagrams were drawn. Floorboards were quickly replaced and I quickly convinced myself that yes, one single plug socket would be enough for that room.

Pudneys over

Had the Pudney's over for an afternoon of rugby (watching England get done over by Ireland) and then headed into town for a meal at the new Italian restuarant, Forenza. It was reet nice and we'll probably make all of our friends and family go there and at the last moment forget to mention that all my credit cards had been stolen.

Loose nuts

Here's some motoring advice... always check all your wheels are securely fastened to your car before driving. After noticing a bit of a judder on Saturday, I thought I might have a problem with my front shocks. After it started getting worse on Monday, I booked the car into the garage for today. On my way to the garage, along the M4, it got much worse. It got to the point where a nice man on the roundabout pointed out to be that my front left wheel was 'about to come off'.

So I pulled over into the middle of the roundabout and had a look. Upon taking off the hub cap, four nuts fell out onto the floor, leaving the only the special nut remaining. Second motoring tip. Don't try to jack your car up on wet grass.

So a lucky escape, since the wheel coming off whilst chuntering along the M4 would have been exhilarating to say the least. At least that didn't happen and no-one was hurt.

On a separate point, Boyzee texted earlier to say Jude was going into hospital to be induced, so best of british to them all. Fancy getting induced that late at night, looks like the Boyzee's won't be getting their beauty sleep tonight. :)

This is what my best friend thinks of my blog

"I would never, ever, read your Blog. In my most worrying and bored times on the Internet, I would rather happily vandalise the Wikipedia Entries of Kris "awooga" Akibussy and Daley Thompson than read about your life.

Monday - Got up. Some hair Fell out.
Tuesday - Got up. Some hair fell out.
Wednesday. Got up. Went to work. Went to see Hot Fuzz. Some hair fell out. Hot Fuzz good. Hair Loss, not so good.
Thursday. Some hair fell out.
Friday - Whoopdywhoo - Some hair fell out.
Saturday/Sunday - Did DIY. Some hair fell out."

I think I still have some convincing to do. Just to note, not much hair has fallen out today. At least it gives Bryan an outlet for his vitriol, which would otherwise be directed to his colleagues. And its spelt Kriss Kezie Uche Chukwu Duru Akabusi you twat.

I doubt this test's veracity

Your results:
You are Robin

Robin 63% Superman 55% The Flash 55% Batman 45% Catwoman 45% Iron Man 45% Spider-Man 40% Hulk 40% Green Lantern 30% Supergirl 23% Wonder Woman 23%

Young and acrobatic. You don't mind stepping aside to give someone else glory.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

No title springs to mind

Watched the Prestige on Friday night and It was one of the best films I've seen in a while. I love the fact that I can't figure out film twists, its such a nice surprise when the unexpected happens.

What else? Lucy's almost finished the staircase after 19 woman-years of effort. Jude still hasn't hatched her baby AFAIK. Went to see Hot Fuzz on Sunday. Was it damn funny? Yaarp. My cars has started juddering again and it sounds like an expensive judder. So that's be another unbuckle-drop-pantage at the SEAT garage then, oh joy.

Today's word of yesteryear is bobbins. That's bobbins.

No bodies found under floorboards

The lesser known sequel to Edward Scissorhands is Andy Lagginghands. A final check that all pipes are lagged before the floor goes dahhhn.

I am aware that I look like a twat in this picture, so no need to leave any comments to that effect.

Check out Scally's blog to see what happens when you post images of yourself on the Internet and you have friends who a) have time on their hands and b) a computer and are not afraid to use it. Nice one La. :)

Drilling over women in bed

Be careful when drilling outside your house. The last time I did it, the guy across the road (we call him 'Capt. 33 years' cos he always reminds us that he's lived in the road for 33 years, well done, have a cookie) asked me to pop in and fix a curtain rail that his lodger had pulled down. Luckily this was a 12 ft curtain rail attached to a 14ft price of wood. Even more bizarre was that that I had to drill new holes into the wall, whilst standing on the lodger's bed, whilst his wife was still in it. Throughout the weird DIY sequence the lodger kept supplying handy hints like "It would be better if you moved it 6 inches to the left" and "I think you're going to need longer screws". This was in amongst the entertaining Rigsby-like banter with the landlord, discussing the state of the room and the newness of the fittings. All in all a bit weird but at least now we have a little sign outside the house saying number 7 (the reason I was out there in the first place) which'll make it easier to remember where I live.

The rub is that I've put up a curtain rail in a complete stranger's bedroom yet in my own we still have a bedsheet twisted around a plastic pole. Put that in your song Alanis, cos that's irony.

Friday fun

Quality trailer for Jerry Seinfeld's new movie. And I want to be able to say "Grindhouse" in the same voice as the voiceover man for the new trailer.

Any film that has cast members called LA Boomstick, Mr Pump, Cold Steel, The Bitch, Tat-a-Tat, MC Hammer and Judge Bullets is alright by me.

Jimmy Jangles is very rude, but very funny.

Chidley's at Center Parcs

Just got back from a mid-week break at the Center Parcs at Eleveden in Suffolk. There was Alex , Laura, Eleanor, Jean, Charles, Doug and Marilyn. The villa was very nice and pretty cheap (worked out at 250 sheets for the 4 nights) and we managed to pack in loads of stuff like tennis, golf and swimming. We avoided all species of wild fowl and shot anything that came with 20 yards of the house, thanks to the rabid news coverage about bird flu that is in no way intended to alarm the populace. Doug and Alex popped their golfing cherries.

Watched The Queen and The Departed over the last week. I was quite surprised that I found the Queen interesting, given my apathy towards the royals. The Departed was excellently sweary and pretty violent but it had lots of good actors in it and some cracking dialogue.

Breckenridge beckons

After an out of the blue call from the Vet on Wednesday, we're now booked up for a week in Breckenridge in March. Despite blowing Nic out for not having enough money to go at New Year, something in me just made me agree to shell out the readies to go in March. I think it was because Nic said he had a good time, I really wanted to go and it may be the last time we can go for a while.

Removed a radiator today. Christ, the tension. Plus wallpapered the hall ceiling. A true test of any marriage.

Pre head wetting session with Boyzee

Met up with Nick, Nic, Boyzee and Gareth last night in the Maple Leaf. Great to see the fellas (seems like a while) and as a result, a group excursion has been planned for New Year, which the Earls will be organising (nice one Danni). A firm promise was made to get Nic, Em's and Tsar over to Maidenhead, which must be followed up (memo to self). They had gas problems at the pub and so were unable to serve Guinness, which just shows the Canadian lack of respect for good service.

Good luck with the delivery Mr and Mrs Boyes!

Team meeting in Chicago

It was that time of year again where men and women from around the world congregate in one place to supposedly do some work and bond with each other.

A delightful trip in economy on the way over (The Departed, The Gridiron Gang) wasn't too grim and Lou and I arrived on Saturday afternoon. We were dead on our feet but luckiliy Greg arrived and kept us up until 6am our time.

Sunday was spent avoiding Greg and ended up with a nice meal with all the team. It was nice to meet Anu for the first time as well as get everyone together again. Chih-Ming still looks like he's 23 years old, he's a poster boy for clean living.

The week went pretty quickly, apart from every night from 3am until 7am, which kinda dragged, listening to the lifts go ding-ding. I had a squirly tum-tum for the most of the week, so the combination of those two things meant I wasn't feeling on top form for most of the week (apart from Wednesday with was the traditional Fogo/Fado double whammy).

The last two days were a bit hairy but I think everyone's back to being happy again (hopefully)which is a relief.

Upgrading to premium economy for $80 on the flight back was definitely a good move, although its still pretty hard to sleep, even with chemical assistance. All in all an eventful week, although I'm glad I'm going on holiday next week, I need to get some chillout time.

Rocky Balboa, what a film

I've recently watched Rocky Balboa and wow, what a great film. After the shitfest that was Rocky V, I was thinking that the films were dead to me. But after watching what felt like a heartfelt apology for the last film, this film is a great bookend to the series.

These films ain't about boxing, they're about life.

"It ain't about how hard you can hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward"

Anyone who loved the first two Rocky films should see this film. It doesn't take itself too seriously and is aware of Rocky's situation i.e. that he's thought of as past his prime and that the thought of getting back in the ring is a bit of a joke. The film spends lots of time on character and his journey to getting back to the ring. You really feel for the guy who is at a loss and doesn't think his life should have panned out as it has. The way the actual fight is portrayed, with intercuts of Adrian and Mickey, really reminds you of the history of the character (surely one of the great movie icons of the last 30 years) . Forget every shit film you've seen with Stallone in (Stop or my Mom will shoot!, The Specialist) and go and see this film.