Virgin 2007

10 years after first going to V, a return visit was due. This time it was a little different, since I was going with Lucy and not a group of blokes. As it turns out, I was able to watch similar groups of blokes from my collapsible chair, and realise what a fucking annoying bunch of arses we must have been. Still, I guess if you want a nice quiet time, your first choice of venue wouldn't be a massive music festival.

Highlights of the festival for me were the Happy Mondays and Kasabian. Also seen were Kanye West (he of big white teeth), Kooks (wish we'd seen the Foo's instead), Babyshambles, Primal Scream, Fratellis and the Killers.

The camping wasn't too heinous, although the hour long walk from car to campsite with all our gear almost got the better of me ("Shall we just sell the bloody tickets"). The guy in the tent next to us snored ALL night, which almost led me to get out of my tent and set fire to his. But his screaming probably would have been louder and hence defeated the object I guess. Thanks to Alex and Laura for the loan of the tent, it was magic.

I'm not sure about those temporary urinals. It's a bit weird when you're standing opposite another man, facing each other and having a piss. Making eye contact whilst pissing is never good and I know I was making sure to wear an expression that couldn't be misinterpreted as "Nice cock". Also great is when your foot squelches into something as you stand in front of the urinal and you realise its not water ("Those aren't pillows!!").